With none of the assumptions that i'm out to sound dramatic or sophisticated from the way i blog, i'm actually just living through the down-trodden days now. Everyday for me, is just like a monotone tune. I live through each day mindlessly, doing the things i do because of obligations and schedules. People say they hardly see me around anymore and i feel as though i'm not seeing myself enough either. Its a bottomless pit of "unknowings", where i'm still finding myself. Totally blinded by the brightness of confusion and lack of self.

As i wake up each morning to recieve each new day. I'm dreading. What am i going to face ahead now. Nothing? The same old dull monotonous sequence in which i sail through in loops? I'm losing out, i know. I was so negative last time, but now, i just give up. Lying in the boot of the car, dark and unknowing of where the journey is bound. Worst thing is, i'm not even curious about it anymore. Just sleeping there, no dreams. Moving only, with the motion of the car against the hard and rocky road. Nothing else.

I'm afraid i'm might go crazy soon. This silent asylum amongst the depths of oblivion. Deafening. An aching drone in my head, forever humming that sound of numbness.

My eyes will reflect the same images all the time. The same pain. Loneliness. So many entries on it but still as confused. No answer, or rather, none accepted. I want THAT answer. I have it with me. I just want someone else to speak it. To feel the same way as i do. Then, i wouldn't feel like that anymore. Probably.

Its a phase i know, but, why is this phase taking so long to end? I mean, it had seemingly fused into my life already. Now, it's part of it. Who to blame? The phase? What phase? its life. Isnt it?